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on 06/12/2012

Feedback Needed

I need some feedback on the first two scenes of a movie I am working on. I want to decide if I should continue it. Please read the screenplay and description and give me some feedback/advice on this forum. Link is below! Thanks!



on 06/16/2012

Hello. I read your scenes, and I would suggest the following: 1st- remember that film is a VERY VISUAL medium... your script does a great deal of telling and very little SHOWING. You have to include what you want the audience to see in each scene, not just what you want the characters to say. 2nd- before you go any further, I would suggest creating an outline for the entire script or a scene treatment for all the scenes in the script. I think you have a story here you want to tell (who here doesn't, lol) but you need to have a very clear idea of where that story is going: beginning/middle/and end. I would suggest that for EVERYONE wanting to write a script or story of any kind.

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