Too many words to fill the spaces that are barely there.
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There is no replacing anyone, because the most mundane things about them are completely lovely and idiosyncratic and amazing, and there is no replacing that. And I realize suddenly that I know who one of those people are in my life, and I don’t know if they are gone forever or not, but there I was, feeling content with life and with myself and they come along and change everything, make me think and feel differently than I ever have felt before, and maybe I do the same for them. And maybe not, but I know that now people console me by saying 'you were okay for over a decade before he came along, you will be okay again'. And I think ‘Yes!! I was fine, but I am not that person anymore!’ Because that’s the thing I can’t seem to explain and no one can. I am not the same. I put all my romanticism and faith into this other person and perhaps when we weren’t together anymore, it took that part away from me. And now I’m stuck pissed off, feeling like a freak because I don’t get over people like---like this,