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SparrowMedia edited dialogue in "Scene 2: Tyler and Quentin" on 10/16/2014. more
Mr. Sharke:
Ironic, isn't it? That the person who is supposed to help people through their problems is the one causing them. Well you see Mr. Pillers, you seemed to have no problems, none of you did. So i was threatened to be "laid off." Now i have a reason to stay. 'A boy, who has lost his parents and is being stalked...' that sounds like to me a good reason for a counselor.
cassiehelsel added a comment to Sparrow Horror Film on 10/15/2014. more
1.The plot line might need more background. Why Mr. Sharke? What is his motive? Maybe more background on Tyler's girlfriend and Quentin? And why'd Tyler's parents get killed? Did they have a connection to the killer?

Don't forget...we especially want to apply what we just learned about suspense (giving the audience information the characters in the story don't know) in order to make this assignment the best it can be.

2. Let's try and make this assignment a bit more implicit (keeping the character from directly speaking their motives/thoughts). Let the actions and background info (that the audience knows and the characters don't) speak for themselves. That's what will give this movie the edge it needs.

3. Who do you think will play who? Because with just you and myself (well, we could obviously modify Quentin into a girl or whatever) we'd need to find another person to join our group if you want a 3rd person (the killer possibly?)

4. I don't want to directly modify your script, so do you mind if I make my own version based on your script? Then you can tell me more about the plot and stuff and I'll just work on dialogue.

5. If I come up with any ideas regarding the plot line I'll run them by you first, don't worry. Don't forget, this was YOUR idea and YOUR script. I'm just helping. I want your approval before any changes are made.

6. Overall, this looks awesome! You're getting better and better with each assignment. Keep the ideas coming! :)
SparrowMedia added an action in "Scene 2: Tyler and Quentin" on 10/15/2014. SparrowMedia made 71 other changes. more
As Tyler and Quentin leave, the audience sees Mr. Sharke awake and pull out the knife as he smiles a sinister smile.

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