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This is your first scene. Last edited by NikolasGoodrich, two years ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

ext. day/night emptiness

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There is nothingness.

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announcer

In the beginning, God made the Heavens and the Earth.

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The screen remains black.

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god

Oh wait, you can't see that, can you. Just a sec...

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Light explodes onto the newly made heaven and earth.

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god (CONT'D)

There we go. So much for the race of mole people.

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announcer

Then God made the lands and the waters and vegetation and called them "good".

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Water, land, and green appear covering the earth.

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God

They are more than good. They're Grrrreaat!

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announcer

Then God made the lights in the sky to cast the light onto the Earth (pause) even though the light already existed. How does that...?

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GOD

Easy, time travel.

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The opener from Lost appears, but with the text "The Bible".

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Announcer

Then God made all the fish and birds and then all the beasts to roam the Earth.

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All the animals appear and swim in the sea and fly in the air and walk the ground.

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announcer (CONT'D)

Finally, God made man and woman and called them Adam and Eve...and then he made the trees...and then the birds...and then the animals...and then he made Eve. Wait...

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God

The Bible

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The Lost open appears again, but this time says "Retconned"

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announcer

Then God told Adam and Eve the rules of the Garden of Eden.

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GOD

You may eat from any of the trees except from the tree of knowledge.

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ADAM

(In an retarded way) How come?

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GOD

Because that tree contains...Adam, Adam over here.

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Adam is staring over at raccoons.

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ADAM

Heh heh. I'm a name 'em poop.

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GOD

Oh right, he hasn't eaten the knowledge fruit yet...Adam, ADAM, focus.

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Adam

Hm?

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GOD

You and Eve must promise not to eat from the tree, got it?

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ADAM

Yup.

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GOD

Now I already know, that the serpent is going to convince Eve and she you to eat from it, cause I'm omniscience. So you have to promise me you're not going to.

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Adam

Mm'kay

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Announcer

Then one day as Eve was walking through the garden, she was stopped by the serpent.

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serpent

Eve, you should eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

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eve

I can't, God told us not to. He said we would die if we did.

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serpent

He only said that because you'll gain knowledge and become like him.

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eve

Well, it does look good and I always wanted to know...well anything.

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Eve eats the fruit and notices she's naked.

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eve (CONT'D)

Adam, come eat some of this shit.

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ADAM

Heh, heh, I'm a name them poop.

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announcer

So Adam and Eve both ate of the fruit and gained knowledge.

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eve

Adam, we're naked! We must find clothes for ourselves to protect our skin from the environment.

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adam

I have a weiner.

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eve

Adam, you did BITE the fruit right?

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ADAM

I'm going to get to rule over you.

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NARRATOR

Then God went "looking" for Adam and Eve

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God

You did WHAT?! I had no idea.

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EVE

The serpent told us to

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god

Then you shall slither on your belly as punishment. You shall be hated more than any other creature!

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Serpent

Even...man?

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God

You never said that.

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Serpent

I never got a comeback though...

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god

And you! You shall have pain delivering babies!

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ADAM

I'm...I'm a republican.

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