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Quick pitch

An awkward demon tries his hand at a bit of vengeance.

Project Type: Not Yet Specified.

This project's owner invites everyone to work on this project! Collaboration-ville or bust!

Recent changes

DorkZombie added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 09/27/2011. DorkZombie made 21 other changes. more
DEMON
Yeah that too ..
DorkZombie added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 09/27/2011. DorkZombie made 23 other changes. more
DEMON
... I hate that stupid book ...
kmn1 added a comment to DorkZombie's Sandbox on 09/27/2011. more
I'm thinking we should change the approach. The nonchalant is kind of funny, but I am realizing it draws all the stakes out of the video. What if it was "STAB" "What the fuck man! Why would you do that?" "YOU READ THE BOOK-" "I didn't read you stupid book. Who stabs someone for reading a book?" "You didn't read... Oh shit... is this 438 Elm Street?" "No, it's 483 Elm Street." "I am so sorry." "Don't you have google maps?" Basically, I think if the guy who got stabbed is more aggressive and the killer becomes apologetic and submissive it's a bigger reversal (things can turn around a bit when the killer wants his machete back, and just seeing the bargaining would be really funny if you felt bad for the killer... like he's an everyday dude who made a mistake). Right now both characters sound the same, and I think it's loosing some of the energy of your initial pitch. What do you think?
DorkZombie added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 09/27/2011. DorkZombie made 43 other changes. more
Demon
HONESTLY? There is NEVER this much chatting after the first murder. This is new, not super used to it.
 

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