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doctors office. Last edited by philbufano, on 05/13/2009. 0 comments. More scene info.

int-vanessa's car-Night

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Chris and Vanessa are making out in the front seat of Vanessa's car. Vanessa stops and stares into Chris's eyes.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Chris

What's wrong?

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Vanessa

Nothing.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Chris

Nothing?

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Vanessa

Chris, this is all just happening so fast.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

Chris

Oh.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Vanessa

Yea I dunno , its me... I just....

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Chris

Just what?

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

He grabs her hand,a car pulls past them blaring loud rap music.

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Vanessa

Sorry, one second.

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She rolls down her window.

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Vanessa (CONT'D)

I bet you have a huge fuckin cock.... asshole.

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She rolls the window back up.

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Vanessa (CONT'D)

Sorry I cant stand people who do that.

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Chris

Ha ha, yea me neither. You know I like you a lot right ? I'm sorry if I'm going to fast, I'm just excited thats all.

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Vanessa

Yea, I can see that.

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She looks at his crotch, he 's hardly embarrassed by his boner's anymore.

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Chris

Well... yea but I meant excited in other ways.

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Vanessa

Oh yea? Like what?

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She starts to play with his shirt collar.

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Chris

Well... ummm I'm meant I'm like excited . that ... that I've met someone who makes me feel so real ... you know.... Someone who I can be 100% honest with all the time. Ya know ?

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

Vanessa seems taken aback by Chris's comment, she leans in and kisses him passionately. After the kiss Chris tries to initiate more. But she stops him short.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

Vanessa

We can't do any more yet.

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Chris

What? Why?

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Vanessa

It's not you, it's me.... Chris I'm sorry, I just have a few things I need to think about.

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Chris

Oh come one baby girl, really?

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He makes one last move out of desperation.

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Vanessa

Chris, Please just trust me ,It wont be long at all I promise..... okay ?

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She kisses him softly one last time.Chris looks saddened by his realization of not getting any.

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Chris

Yea, I guess.

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Vanessa hugs and kisses him goodbye, Chris gets out of the car.

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Vanessa

Thanks for understanding.

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Chris

Yea,yea.

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int-doctors office-day

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Chris and Doc are sitting in their usual chairs.Doc is in the middle of scolding Chris.

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Doc

You know what that means right?

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Chris

That even porn stars put you through the same bullshit regular girls do ?

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Doc

Well, yes, but that's not what I meant.

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Chris looks confused.

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Doc (CONT'D)

Dude, you really aren't following me here are you ?

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Chris shakes his head no.

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Doc (CONT'D)

Seriously your an idiot. I mean that ....Dude ! She's going to tell you shes a porn star so she can bang your brains out.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

Chris

Noooo.

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Doc

Yes, yes yes , think about it man. She thinks your ones of Eric's buddies, She probably thinks your as scared of pussy as he is.

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Chris

Well yea ... but come on, why wouldn't she just have banged me last time ?

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Doc

Think about it man, Could you imagine a guy like Eric unsuspectingly getting sprayed down by the duesching duchess of porno ?

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Chris

No but....

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Doc

But what ? She just doesn't know your a sick fuck yet, and once she does.... well my friend, you'll spending your days at the water park if you know what I mean.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

Chris

That's a really weird way of putting it.

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Doc

Yea I know, I thought I'd try something new .

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Chris

Can't say I like it.

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Doc

Damn, really?

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Chris shakes his head. He then motions with his hands to roll and smoke a joint. Doc silently agrees and starts to roll one.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009 2 versions.

Chris

Shit man, I totally forgot to show you... look what I got back.

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Chris pulls out his drivers license and hands it over to doc.

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Doc

Whoa gnarly, they let a degenerate like you back on the road.

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Chris

Well yea ... but it was bullshit anyways.

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Doc

Oh, was it now?

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Chris

Hells yea man.

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Doc

Do tell.

philbufano - on 05/29/2009

int-Chris's car-night

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris is driving his car in the dead of night, he takes a sip of his beer and sets it in the cup holder. He looks tired.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris (VO)

So I was on a all niter headin up to Bakersfield to get up wit my boy reigns, He's got the dankest cronic in all the land.

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Doc

What? Better than mine ?

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Chris (VO)

Your kibble and bits weed stands no chance against his cat fancy.

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Chris is starting to fall asleep while driving.

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Doc (VO)

What the fuck are you talking about?

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Chris (VO)

Shit, I dunno, but were even now, lets just agree our innuendos are off today ?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (VO)

Agreed.

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Chris starts to unzip his pants and "entertain" himself while driving.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris (VO)

So I'm riding up and I'm starting to loose my buzz,getting sleepy and shit. So I do the only thing I know is going to keep me up.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc (VO)

What?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris (VO)

You know,stroke out a quick road J.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (VO)

Whaaaat.

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int-doc's office-day

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Chris

What dude, your telling me you've never jerked it while driving ?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc

Uh no, I can usually wait until I arrive at my destination. .... Stroking it while driving ?!?!

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

Whatever dude. So everything going well...until.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc

Did you have a magazine or something?

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Chris

No I imagined titties... can I finish the story !

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Doc

Sorry I'm still hung up on the jerkin off and driving thing.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

I can tell, Fuck.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

int- Chris's car-night

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris is continuing to "entertain" himself while driving.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris (VO)

So Its all going well, until I happen to catch something in the corner of my eye.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (VO)

What?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris sees something, he panic's and swerves.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

int-doc's office-day

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

A fucking trucker.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

Get the fuck out.

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Chris

Sick fuck was watching me for probably 3 miles.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

Awwww, gross.

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Chris

Yep, freaked out, swerved right into the median.

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Doc

Fuck ... you lost your license for that?

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Chris

Well I was a little drunk too.

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Doc

That makes more sense.

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Chris

Apparently now they are saying buzzed driving is drunk driving.

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Doc

Then you might as well get wasted then if thats the case.

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Chris

I know right ? I'm definitely getting my moneys worth next time .....

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Doc

Ha ha jerkin off in the car. I gotta admit I'm curious.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Chris

You gotta try it, its a little hard at first.... but once you get a grip on it.....

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Doc

Ahhhh ....There's that innuendo.

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Chris

Ha ha ...Well that bring me to my next point ...

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Doc

Oh yea? There was a point ?

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Chris

Yea, well seeing as I got that big date with Vanessa coming up, I was wondering if I could borrow your truck Friday night ?

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Doc

No way.

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Chris

Come on man.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

No way.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

Come on man!

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Doc

No way, how do I know your not going to jerk off in it.

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Chris

Cuz I'll be on a date!

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Doc

Yea, with a squirter.

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Chris

Come on, don't make me take Eric's car, his car sucks , she'll never do me then.

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Doc

No matter how you slice it my interiors gonna get messy. So I'm gonna have to stand firm on no.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (CONT'D)

Yes really, and I am truly sorry, but instead I will leave you with some key information on how to get out a DUI.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Chris

Oh really?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

Yea, its actually very simple.

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Chris

Oh is that so ? What is it ? Putting a penny under your tounge ? I've heard all that stupid shit before you know, its doesn't work.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

You right its doesn't .. but this does.

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Animation Sequence

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Everything doc is describing will be animated in a very crude stick figure manner. The stick figures will appear to have been drawn by crayon.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (VO)

So lets say you get pulled over and you know your drunk.

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Chris(VO)

Okay.

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Doc(VO)

You must keep one unopened emergency bottle under your seat at all times.

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Chris(VO)

Emergency bottle? Of what?

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Doc(VO)

Of liquor.

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Chris(VO)

And that's going to get me out of a DUI?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc(VO)

Listen young one, so as the cop walks towards your car, you pull the bottle from under your seat and let him see that you are opening the previously sealed bottle.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Chris (VO)

Okay.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc (VO)

Then chug the fuck out of it.

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int-Doc's Office-day

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

And that's your plan?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc

Yes my son, for you see when you go to court, any information they took on your blood alcohol content will get thrown out by the judge, because they saw you chugging the alcohol AFTER being pulled over.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Chris

So they saw me get drunk.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Doc

Exactly and the cop reports what he sees.So they can't get a fair reading of your BAC, gets thrown out of court 9 out of 10 times.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 3 versions.

Chris

No shit... You may be on to something here my man, you ever tried it ?

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Doc

No , cops are usually intimidated by me.

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Chris

Shut the fuck up...

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Doc

Seriously man, I just look them right in the eyes.... just like I would a pit bull.

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Chris

Whatever man,So you sure I cant use your truck.

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Doc

Positive.

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Chris

Well fuck, i need to get home then, gotta start buggin Eric for his piece of shit 3 door Saturn now.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

Alright man, and remember what I told you about the DUI's.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009 2 versions.

Chris

As long as you remember what I told you about jerkin off and driving.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Doc

What's that ?

philbufano - on 05/31/2009

Chris

Watch out for truckers.

philbufano - on 05/31/2009
 
 
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