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Prologue Last edited by camerontroyer, two years ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

curtains rise

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE and MAURICE are standing center stage

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge- (MAURICE taps ROBBIE) from ancient grudge- (MAURICE taps ROBBIE) FROM ANCIENT GRUDGE- (MAURICE taps ROBBIE) WHAT?

camerontroyer - two years ago 5 versions.

Maurice

What are you doing?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

I'm introducing the play!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Like that? That's not how to start the play!

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

It's Romeo and Juliet! That's how it's supposed to start.

camerontroyer - two years ago

maurice

(Pulling sweater) That's a bunch of bologna!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

(loss of words) Bologna?

camerontroyer - two years ago

maurice

It's like the stuff my step mom put on my sandwich.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

(starts to say something) bu-

camerontroyer - two years ago

maurice

(interupts)It was icky.

KateVee - a year ago 2 versions.

robbie

(speechless) There are people waiting.

camerontroyer - two years ago

maurice

(starts approaching end of stage and completely lifts shirt up) People!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

(ROBBIE rushes to end of stage to stop MAURICE) no, no, no put your shirt down.

Maurice

You don't know if they don't want it.

robbie

Of course they don't want it. They came here to see the play Romeo and Juliet.

Maurice

That's a boring play.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

No it's not. It's famous.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

Then why have I never heard of it?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

It's a famous play, I just told you about it!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I'm sorry, did you hear that? It must've been the ventilation shaft making noise again.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

Ah, alright. Do you want to do another play?

Maurice

Yeah!

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

How about we tell the story about Richard.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

(pondering) Who's Richard?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Our brother.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

The one I hang over the fireplace?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Yeah him. Okay, we'll tell a story about Richard.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

I like how he screams when his feet burn.

END SCENE - CURTAIN DROPS

camerontroyer - two years ago
Act 1 Scene 1 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

Curtain rises

camerontroyer - two years ago

SCHOOL HALLWAY, empty. Bell rings. EXTRAS, KEITH, MARK and EMILY enter stage left, EXTRAS and DANNY enter stage right. MARK and EMILY are holding hands, and go to EMILY's locker at the end of the "hall". KEITH goes to his locker, and shoves DANNY to get to it. KEITH says something inaudible, and DANNY gives him the stink-eye when KEITH has turned away. EVERYBODY ends up at a locker, and the scene freezes. RICHARD walks on stage.

Richard

(addressing audience) Hi, I'm Richard, and welcome, to Molly Ringwald College. I'll be your protagonist this evening. Be wary: this play may or may not contain swear words, random insanity and violence. So be sure to film it and put it on Youtube later. Also, if you have a phone in here, please turn it off. Otherwise, one of our actors will come, retrieve it, and start prank calling your friends. You've been warned.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ACTION resumes. DANNY closes his locker and turns around to see RICHARD. He approaches him.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Richard, Richard! Guess what!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

I got those tickets to go see Equus. I hear there's a nude scene. (smiles)

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION PAUSES. RICHARD looks at audience.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

This is Danny. He is, unfortunately, my best friend. He's hornier than a steroidal Bulgarian horse in an Amsterdam burlesque house. And for those of you who don't catch my drift, he's just plain horny. To say the least, he's got issues. I even think that... (reaches into DANNY's pocket) yep! (pulls hand out, and line of Trojan condoms come out) He's been carrying these around since the seventh grade. (looks at them) Oh no, they've expired. (shoves them back into pocket) He also has a lack of filter. I know, I know, that's kind of normal these days, but most people at least shut up at some point.

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

It's gonna be so wicked. We're gonna go, and it's all gonna be like "We came for the titties", and we can, because it's a play. There aren't gonna be any bouncers-

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Danny...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

because its a play, not a brothel or a club or anything, and we can get in like that. And ohh, how I can't wait-

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Danny...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

To see those tits. How big do you think they are? I think they'll be a B, maybe a C-

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

DANNY!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

The nude scene is a male nude scene.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Why should I care if it's got postal workers in it? I feel for them. They work through snow, sleet, hurricane Katrina, and you can't give them the satisfaction of having a nude scene in a play?

Richard

Oh, you dumbass. No, not mail, male. (Makes gesture at self. DANNY looks confused) It's a guy who's gonna be nude. No tits. Dicks!

DANNY is silent for a while.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Well that was waste of my money. (rips up tickets and throws it like confetti)

Richard

Mhmm.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY laughs, and kisses MARK. RICHARD watches.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Dude, are you ever gonna stop that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Stop what?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

The way you pine after Emily. Are you ever going to stop crushing on her?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Short answer: no.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Long answer?

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION PAUSES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Long answer? The long answer is that I've had a crush on Emily (walks over to her) since the seventh grade. To be honest, Danny and I hit puberty at roughly the same time. I dealt with it... differently. Emily is everything I want in a woman. She's funny, she's hot, she's intelligent. (walks back to original spot) Unfortunately, however, her intelligence is... limited.

ACTION RESTARTS. EMILY and MARK walk over to DANNY and RICHARD.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

Hey Richard.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Hey Emily. (looks at Mark) Mark.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

(flicks wrist) Heeeeey boooys.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION STOPS.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

She doesn't seem to notice her boyfriend's gay. (Makes gesture at Mark) Hey, I have no issue with gay people. Neil Patrick Harris is gay, and he's awesome. But not being able to know that this (flicks wrist) is gay? Seriously?

ACTION resumes

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Hey Mark, hows it going?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Oh, so-so, you know? Yesterday, I was listening to my Lady Gaga CD for the, like, fifth time.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION Pauses. RICHARD makes an exaggerated motion towards MARK. ACTION resumes.

MArk (CONT'D)

When I realized that Lady Gaga is the new Elton John.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

You just realized that?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

RICHARD hits DANNY in back of head.

Richard

Really?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Emily

He's so right too. I mean, the wardrobe is so similar.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Hmm.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Anywho, later, we're gonna go shoe shopping.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MARK and EMILY make louding screeching noise while jumping up and down.

ACTION PAUSES. RICHARD imitates loud screeching noise, then facepalms. ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Emily

Well, we gotta go. Bye.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY and MARK walk away, holding hands. Exit stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Danny

That is one of the cutest couples this school has ever seen.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(giving Danny a death stare) You don't say.

camerontroyer - two years ago

STEPHANIE walks on stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Danny

That, however, is more my cup of tea.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION PAUSES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That, my dear ladies and gents, is the token town bicycle. It's name: Stephanie. She has got to have flirted with every boy in this school. EXCEPT Danny. It's driving him crazy that the one girl in the school that he wants to get with, won't even give him the time of day. Which reminds me.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Why, again, do you want to get with her?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Didn't I already explain this to you? Stephanie is the only one in this school with low enough standards. There is no one else, even the fat chicks. The only possible way I could loose my virginity before I graduate is by getting with her.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Steroidal horse.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Oh, nothing.

camerontroyer - two years ago

STEPHANIE goes over to her locker. KEITH approaches her.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Keith

Hey Stephanie.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Stephanie

What does Keith want with Stephanie?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Keith

Well, I'm free this Thursday, and was wondering if, maybe, you'd like to go see the new Saw film: Saw 500.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Stephanie

Stephanie will be busy this thursday.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Keith

Oh, doing what?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Stephanie

Not seeing Saw 500.

camerontroyer - two years ago

STEPHANIE walks away.

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

Danny

Hey, Stephanie.

camerontroyer - two years ago

STEPHANIE keeps walking, right past DANNY and RICHARD, stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Danny (CONT'D)

She looked at me.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

DANNY faints into RICHARD's arms. RICHARD holds him there for a little while, then just throws him on the floor. DANNY gets up, and stares at RICHARD for a while.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Ow.

camerontroyer - two years ago

KEITH walks off towards where STEPHANIE went. KEITH pushes DANNY and RICHARD out of the way.

camerontroyer - two years ago

KEITH

Out of my way, geek-a-zoids.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION PAUSES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

This, is Keith. He is, for lack of a better word, an asshole. I want to hit him so badly some times, that my fists are red. I want to knock his teeth out. I want to reenact the final scenes of Macbeth with his head. Lets just hope that Danny doesn't open his mouth.

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

That's a new one.

camerontroyer - two years ago

KEITH slowly turns around

camerontroyer - a year ago

ACTION pauses

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit...

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Keith

What did you say, freak?

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION pauses

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

PLease, please, please...

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Just commented on your expanding dictionary. Thumbs up to ya.

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD facepalms. KEITH recoils for the punch, and starts to punch. ACTION PAUSES seconds before the fist hits DANNY's face.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Note the main resons why Keiths head never does end up on a pike, which Danny always seems to completely ignore. 1) He's twice my size. 2) He has the whole force of the football team behind, the fucker. and 3) his uncle is an MMA fighter, and has taught this little grasshopper well. Note, the superior arc of his fist through the air. Note, the proper stance. Note, the startled look on Danny's face. Yeah, this is gonna hurt.

ACTION RESUMES. DANNY gets punched in the face, and falls down and doesn't get up at first. KEITH looks at RICHARD, who slowly takes a step back. KEITH then walks off. The school bell rings, and the hall basically empties. RICHARD tries getting DANNY up.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard (CONT'D)

Damn. (Picks up Danny's feet) Damn. Damn. (Pulls Danny towards next class) Damn. Damn. (Drops feet) Fuck (Picks up feet and pulls DANNY off stage) Damn, damn, etc...

CURTain drops-end scene

camerontroyer - two years ago
Act 1 Scene 2 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

Curtains rise

RICHARD's HOUSE. MAURICE and ROBBIE are sitting at kitchen table. MAURICE has a bologna sandwich and ROBBIE has a juice box.

robbie

What is it with you bologna sandwiches?

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

Maurice

They're icky...

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Then stop eating them.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I can't...

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Why?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I laced it with fairy dust.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I said... dairy... buds....

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

....ok....

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD walks on stage right, followed by DANNY massaging his jaw.

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

Danny

Ithighebwokemewyjaw.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

I...thig...he...bwoke...mewhy...jaw...

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD turns around and slaps him across the jaw. DANNY recolis.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Better?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

DANNY rubs jaw.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

I'M CURED!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD rolls his eyes. ACTION PAUSES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

These are my two younger brothers: Robbie, and Maurice. But I think you've already met them.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE unfreezes

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I don't think they agree with me about bologne.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Maurice, get the hell out of my monologue.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

(muttering) You just wait til dad sweeps the fireplace.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE refreezes.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That, was Maurice. Thankfully, he's adopted. My dad works at a mental hospital, and this... kid... was one of his patients. When he was certain Maurice was stable, he was going to allow him to rejoin the general public, but then his parents ditched him. So now he lives with us. Great!

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE unfreezes.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Haters gonna hate!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Maurice, out!

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE refreezes.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard (CONT'D)

This other little shit, is Robbie. He's actually related to me. I don't know how, I don't know why, but he is (Shivers) family. However, he is the more sane of the two. He's also convinced my parents I'm gay. If they'd just care to look under my mattress, they'd see I'm not!

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Hey guys, what you got there? Are you coloring?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I am going to shove this sandwich so far down your breathing hole they won't hear you scream.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DANNY slowly backs away.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

You haven't given him his meds yet, have you?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

(looks at clock) He only gets them at quarter past five. It's five now.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

No, Robbie. Quarter TO five. To, not past.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Oh.... what happens if he doesn't get them?

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE jumps up.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I want to go swimming in the Sahara. (turns to the left suddenly) I'm coming, Amelia Earhart!

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE runs off stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That!

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

He's like that all the time.

MAURICE runs back on stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

Cairo's in the other direction!

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE runs back off stage right.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Uh oh.

Richard

(points after Maurice) Go!

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE gets down and runs after MAURICE, stage right.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

(Grabs sandwich)Maurice, do you want your bologna for the trip?

ROBBIE exits stage right

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Man, your brothers are weird.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Meh. You learn to live with it.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Anyways, we're getting assigned our groups for the English project tomorrow. I hope I'm with Stephanie. I could totally use this project to make my move!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I worry about you. You know that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Well, you shouldn't.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Well, I should. Otherwise god knows what you'll do without anybody saying "That's a stupid idea". Danny, it's okay.

Danny

What's okay?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That you are a horny idiot. But it's okay, because you are my best friend. I don't care if you're straight, gay, or horny as hell.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Danny

(starts crying) thank-you (puts his head on Richard's shoulder) You're such a nice person!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ACTION FREEZES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

First step to recovery: Admitting you have a problem.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - two years ago
Act 1 Scene 3 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

CURTAIN RISES

SCENE is a classroom with 15 sets of tables and chairs, with a teachers desk. The students face stage left and the teacher's desk faces stage right. Full cast minus Maurice and Robbie plus extras come in from stage left, further upstage than the teacher's desk. CLASS mingles around, chatting. RICHARD is hanging out with DANNY, STEPHANIE, TOMMY, KEITH and MARK are standing in one corner chatting, APRIL is in one corner sitting at her desk in an emo state, and EMILY is setting up her books for the class.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

So, about last night.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Don't sweat it.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

No seriously, thank-you.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I understand. Just, please. Don't talk about it ever again.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

There was a need that needed to be filled, and you filled it.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

If you don't shut up now, I'm going to knock you out.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

That's not very nice. And to think, when I was feeling sad, you let me cuddle you.

camerontroyer - two years ago

CLASS goes silent, turns to DANNY and RICHARD. DANNY is oblivious to the staring, while RICHARD is looking around at all the people in their class.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Danny, I think that there's a small family in Sri Lanka who didn't quite hear you.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

What, it's not like there was penetration.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

You've penetrated my rep.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

What rep?

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD just stares at DANNY for a while, as the class slowly goes back to their other conversations.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Point. Taken.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Bell rings. CLASS takes seats. DEAN walks in.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Hello class. Your teacher, Mr. Hughes has called in sick today... with chlamydiae. So, for the next little while, I'll be your english teacher.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ACTION FREEZES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

This is our amazing, all powerful dean. Nobody knows his name. He insists we call him Dean. However, there's something about him makes me uneasy. Not sure what it is.

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN begins extravagantly moving his dick around as he talks.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Alright. Now, Mr. Hughes told me you were about to start a project. However, he then passed out from the pain, so I guess I'll just have to make one up and grade you on that. I'm going to separate you into groups of two, and assign you each a short story from my personal library to read and examine. You will hand in, for each group, a one thousand word essay.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

TOmmy

Do we get to pick our groups ourselves, sir?

camerontroyer - two years ago

April

He already said we weren't, jockhead.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOmmy

I wasn't asking you, Ms. Showers.

camerontroyer - two years ago

April

I don't need your permission to talk, assface.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Tommy and April! One more word out of either of you, and you'll be seeing me in my office after class.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOMMY and APRIl

Yes sir.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION FREEZES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Let me introduce our final two players, if you will. This, is Tommy. He is our stereotypical jock. Because it just isn't a teen comedy if you don't have one. While no one has any definitive proof, I'm pretty certain he's using steroids. He has anger management issues.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOmmy

(whispering) If you ever talk back to me again, I will snap off that little emotional head of yours as if I were breaking a toothpick. Comprende?

camerontroyer - two years ago

April

(whispering) Whatever.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION FREEZES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

And that, is April Showers. She is part of that movement sweeping the nation as of late: the emo. Granted, I would be too, with a name like hers. April Showers. God, that's just some really cruel humor. Word is, her parents are rich, and wanted to have one of those really preppy girls with the sundresses and giggles, so gave her a really flowery name. Guess that kinda backfired. Anyways, those two there are mortal enemies. It's fun to watch them go at each other.

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Now then, I will assign you your teams. April (looks coyly at APRIL and TOMMY) and Tommy.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOmmy

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

April

Sir, no offense, but I refuse to work with an ape. Hell, an ape is trained better.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOmmy

Well, you aren't a bucket of sunshine yourself.

camerontroyer - two years ago

April

That's the point of being an emo, idiot.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOmmy

Oh, it looks like there's some life in her.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Dean

Either you work together on this project, or you do 100 hours detention. Take. Your. Pick.

camerontroyer - two years ago

TOMMY and APRIL sigh and slouch in their chairs.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN (CONT'D)

Good. Now then, where was I? April, Tommy... right. Mark will be with Keith. Stephanie (small orgasm) will be with Danny.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Danny

Yes!

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Emily will be with Richard. And the rest of you guys are extras. Nobody really gives a damn about you guys, so just pair off and we can get on with the play. I'll be coming around in a few minutes with your short stories.

camerontroyer - two years ago

CLASS rearranges itself appropriately. DANNY leans in close to RICHARD.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

I'm gonna get luckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

It's an english project.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Exactly. Perfect introduction material.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DANNY walks over to STEPHANIE.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny (CONT'D)

SO, when we stripping?

camerontroyer - two years ago

STEPHANIE takes ear buds out of her ears.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Stephanie

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Nothing.

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD laughs. EMILY walks over.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Hey Richard.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Hey.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ACTION FREEZES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Hello beautiful! (gets down on one knee) Will you marry me? No, I know, I know. I've thought of it too, and I realized we could just get someone to kill Mark so we can go on with our lives. (Gets back up) What do you say?

ACTION RESUMES

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

So, what do you think of the project?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Oh, I don't know. I think I'll figure it out when I see the short story.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN walks over.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Emily, Richard. Here, is your topic.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(picks it up) How Franky Lost His Virginity. (pauses) by Peter Niss. P Niss.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

One of my favorites. (thumbs up) Have fun you two.

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN squeezes past EMILY. When it gets really tight, DEAN has another small orgasm.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

You okay sir?

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN

Yep! (nods) Peachy!

camerontroyer - two years ago

DEAN goes to hand out more short stories.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

I don't know about you, but I'd like to get this done as fast as possible. So, is tonight good for you? After school?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Yep. Your place?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Actually, we can't at my place. My mom will probably still be hungover from last night. (RICHARD is quizzical) It was wednesday. She goes to the club every wednesday. and thursday. and friday. Saturday. Sunday. Monday.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Tuesday?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Oh, definitely not tuesday. No, no.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Ah.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Emily

No, Tuesday she works the pole.

camerontroyer - two years ago

AWKWARD SILENCE

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

My place then?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Yeah.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I'll text you my address.

Emily

Alright. I'll drop by around 5.

Richard

Perfect.

camerontroyer - two years ago

BELL RINGS.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Well, I gotta go. See you at 5.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

5

camerontroyer - two years ago

MARK wraps his arm around EMILY.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

Hey baby.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Heeeeey. We gotta go to class, but I need to go do my nails first. They look horrendous. (turns to RICHARD) Laterrrr (Call me)

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

MARK and EMILY exit class. DANNY sneaks up behind RICHARD.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Hey.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Jesus Christ, don't do that!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Do what?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Sneak up behind me.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Oh, sorry. Anyway, what story did you get?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Something called "How Franky Lost his Virginity"

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

By Peter Niss? That's a classic!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I worry about you. Have I told you that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

Many times.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What did you get?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

The Ambrosiac Barista by Valerie Gina. Another great one.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Valerie Gina, huh? V Gina.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Danny

God, I don't know why, but her name just turns me on so much. Anyway, we doing our regular Wednesday porn watch tonight?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That's YOUR regular Wednesday porn watch, where you come over to my place to watch crappy pornos on my big screen because Wednesday is the one night your parents are in and mine aren't. and no, I can't. Emily is coming over to work on the project.

Danny

Oooooooh, I get it. It's all about how Richard lost his virginity tonight, eh? (nudges RICHARD) Eh?

Richard

(elbows Danny in ribs) Shut up. and no, it's going to be nothing like that. This is going to be a mature, adult evening, where we talk about our project.

camerontroyer - two years ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - two years ago
Act 1 Scene 4 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

CURTAIN RISES

RICHARD's HOUSE. RICHARD is dressed very nicely. He is rushing around the living room, placing candles on surfaces. MAURICE and ROBBIE are watching.

Maurice

What is the strange one doing?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

I don't know. It looks like he's competing in the dating olympics.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Which event?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

(sighs) There is no such thing as the dating olympics.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

You've obviously never watched Grey's Anatomy.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

You watch Grey's Anatomy?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

(stuttering) No... There's that noise in the ventilation shaft again.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ROBBIE stares at MAURICE. ROBBIE turns to RICHARD.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Richard?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Yes Robbie?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

What are you doing?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Setting up.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

For a date?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

No. Emily is coming over at five to work on our project.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Then why are there candles everywhere?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

...They make the room smell nice.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Really? I'm ten and I can see right through your bullshit.

Richard

It covers up the smell he makes when he shits his pants (nods at Maurice)

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Touche

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Candles are for pussies and people who want to get into other people's pants.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Not necessarily true.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Necessarily true.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

How is he suddenly so coherent?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

I may or may not have overdosed him on his ADHD pills. Or maybe it was his ADD pills.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Can you guys see the funny colors? (sways)

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Well, at least he's not running to catch the last plane to Europe this time.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

I don't think he could move if he tried.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I'm like a tree in the autumn breeze. WHOOOOOOSH!

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE and RICHARD stare worriedly at MAURICE, who doesn't notice.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Lock him up tonight.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

On it. Hey, Maurice, I've got a nice bologna sandwich for you!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I'm coming for you bologna! To bologna, with love. I got you Bologna! Don't cry for me, Argen-bologna!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

MAURICE and ROBBIE exit stage left. Doorbell rings. RICHARD goes stage right, and "Opens a door". EMILY steps in, clearly not quite as dressed as RICHARD.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Hey.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Hey. (looks around) You've got a lot of candles.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(quickly) My mom collects them.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

Huh.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Yeah. So, come, sit down. Want anything? Water? Milk? Red wine?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

What was that last thing?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Red Vine? (Pulls out bag of Red Vines)

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

I'll have some soda, if you've got it.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(really fast) We've got coke, diet coke, sprite, dr. pepper, cream soda, mountain dew, root beer, grape crush, orange crush and pellegrino

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

coke please.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Coming right up.

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD opens fridge. Grabs can of soda, then looks at something. RICHARD pulls out a bottle with a StickiNote. ACTION FREEZES.

Richard (CONT'D)

Dear Richard, in case your not-a-date with Emily isn't going so well, here is a water bottle that may or may not have been laced with ecstasy. Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy. Your good buddy, Danny. (inspects bottle) Why the hell is it half finished?

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

ACTION RESUMES. RICHARD puts the bottle back, grabs a can of soda for himself and goes to sit with Emily.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

So, about the project...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

(off stage)I WANT MY BOLOGNAAAAAAAAAAAA! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Oh that can't be good.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

What was that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Either the zombie apocalypse has started, or Robbie is trying to lull Maurice to sleep.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ROBBIE runs onstage quickly.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

We have a problem.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Yeah, I heard. What the hell did you do?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

I don't know. When I gave him his pills before, I made sure I gave him some water to help swallow them.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(With a creepy smile and eerie calm)Is it possible that this water was in a bottle in the fridge with a sticki-note?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

Yes. Why?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

That StickiNote explained that there was ecstasy in the water. You gave Maurice ECSTASY!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

(quizzically)I'm sorry, did you say ecstasy?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

(quickly)One second Emily.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

Just because I know my ABCs does not mean I can use them to form words. I'm only ten.

Richard

Okay, okay. Just, fix the problem. There's a horse tranquilizer gun in the safe in the master bedroom. The combo is 3519. Use it ONLY if you have to.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

Sir yes sir.

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

ROBBIE salutes, then exits stage left

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Richard, what is going on?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Nothing that doesn't happen normally. Don't worry. My other brother, Maurice, can just be a handful. Anyways, onto the story.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Yes, I found it to be quite the story. I believe that we should base our essay off the coming of age perspective from the story.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

You're saying it was a coming of age story?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Yes.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I'm saying it was an erotic fiction.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

What makes you say that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I found it in one my dad's Playboys from the seventies. Just don't tell Danny I have a crate of Playboys.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Okay. Well, I still think that the coming of age perspective works.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Yes, I do see how that could work. The virginity being a major role in the story.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

I was thinking the exact same-

camerontroyer - two years ago

Loud crash occurs offstage. ROBBIE screams.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY (CONT'D)

What was that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

One second. ROBBIIIIIIIIE!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE runs onstage, his clothing torn.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Yes?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What the hell happened?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

He's broken free.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

How?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

He tore a hole in his cage.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What the-

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

What type of pet do you own?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Tasmanian devil. So he's loose in the house?

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

I'm afraid so.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

There's a Tasmanian devil loose in the house?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(stares at Emily for a while) Well where is he?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

MAURICE RUNS on stage in fluorescent yellow high heels and a sun hat.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

I'M A PRETTY LADDDDDDY!!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Found him.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Emily

Is this your younger brother?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

He's adopted.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY picks up MAURICE and puts him on her lap.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Well hello there.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Don't put your fingers near his mouth. He has trouble telling whats food and whats not food.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Richard, he's a kid.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

It's kind of like his defense mechanism, he eats.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

EMILY

What's your name, buddy?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Give me your booty call number and I'll give you mine.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

(Pause) Colorful.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

What can I say. He's family.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I HAVE FLOURESCENT HEELS!!!!!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Where did you find those? Did you find those in your mommy's closet.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

Nope! At the second hand store on Main street. Bought them for two dollars.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

No way! I've been looking for a place to buy shoes for going out with Mark and I can't find a single shop.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

Well you've been searching in all the wrong places.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Really, you wear high heels when you go out with Mark?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

No, Mark does.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Okay, Maurice needs to go to bed soon.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Richard needs to shut the hell up soon.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

That's not a very nice thing to say.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

I'm sorry. Will a hug make up?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Aaaaaaw, of course!

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY hugs MAURICE. MAURICE nudges his head into her cleavage.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Oooh yeaaaah...

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD, looking to change topic, looks at doll in MAURICE's hand.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Maurice, what the hell is that?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Clarisse.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Oh? Who's Clarisse?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

My girlfriend.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Not all boys need girlfriends.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Maurice

That's not what Dick over there says. (silence) (whispers)By the way, he wants to get in your pants. That's why hes got the candles out. That, or he's a pyromaniac. Either way, bewaaaaaare.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(to Robbie) Get the gun. Remember, 3519.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE goes offstage.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Why is Clarisse's head missing?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I ran out of dandelions.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Did she do anything to deserve losing her head?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

I tell myself that she gave the peasants cake so that I can sleep at night.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY slowly realizes that MAURICE is not all there.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Richard...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Do you want to know a secret?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

I'm not sure. (looks at RICHARD) Do I?

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

RICHARD shakes his head violently.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

He's not the pyromaniac in the family. (Maurice produces a matchbook)

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Maurice, give me those matches.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

But I want to burn your feet again.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

ROBBIE!!!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ROBBIE runs onstage with a tranquilizer gun.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Robbie, give me the gun.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

No, I can do this.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

Richard

Robbie, you can't aim. Give me the gun!

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

robbie

I'VE GOT THIS! NOW SHUT UP OR I'LL PLANT PLAYGIRLS WHERE YOUR PLAYBOYS ARE.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Woah, okay.

camerontroyer - two years ago

ROBBIE fires the tranq. RICHARD yelps. RICHARD reaches around to his butt and pulls out the tranq.

camerontroyer - two years ago 3 versions.

Richard (CONT'D)

I said AIM! Give me that. (Grabs gun) OKay, now just, bag this sucker...

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD starts rocking.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Whats wrong with him?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Horse tranquilizer. Very strong. Excellent high.

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD falls to the floor.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

You... sumuva... bish...

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD falls down and passes out. RICHARD starts snoring.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Is he alright?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

He'll be fine in 5, 8 hours tops. (Looks at Robbie) I'm sleepy.

camerontroyer - two years ago

robbie

Seriously?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice

Watching Richard get shot makes me drowsy.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MAURICE hops off EMILY and walks past ROBBIE, offstage.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Maurice (CONT'D)

Nighty night!

camerontroyer - two years ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - two years ago
Act 1 Scene 5 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

CUrtain rises

School hallway. EMILY is at her locker alone. The hallway is deserted except for her. RICHARD walks on stage left with a limp. EMILY sees him and kind of smiles.

EMILY

Hey.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Hey.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Whats up with your leg?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

The after effects of being shot in the ass with a horse tranquilizer.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Ah!

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I'm really sorry about last night. My brothers can be a handful.

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Isn't that the understatement of the year.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

I'm pretty sure it's my personal punishment. I don't know what for, I just know that life is never average with those two.

camerontroyer - two years ago

emily

Like your own special hell.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

You catch on fast.

camerontroyer - two years ago

emily

It's my gift.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MARK enters stage left.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Hey Emily!

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Marky!

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY runs up, hugs and kisses MARK. ACTION FREEZES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

She should return her gift. I think it's defective.

camerontroyer - two years ago 2 versions.

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

So, what did you do last night?

camerontroyer - two years ago

EMILY

Well, Richard and I tried working on our project, but he ended up being shot in the ass with a tranquilizer.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

(confused) Okay... Hey, Keith and I worked on our project too.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Oh, what story did you get?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

He who sucks best, sucks most.

camerontroyer - two years ago

RICHARD looks at MARK with a look that says he wants to say something, but he's restraining himself.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark (CONT'D)

By Richard Luvvir.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

From experience, Richard can be shortened to Dick.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Yeah. I read in his bio that he goes by Dick. Dick Luvvir.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(under his breath) Oddly appropriate.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

What?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

I thought you said something.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

(shakes head) Nope.

camerontroyer - two years ago

MARK looks at RICHARD for a few seconds.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Anyway...

camerontroyer - two years ago

Emily

So, how did your meeting with Keith go?

camerontroyer - two years ago

Mark

Oh it went alright. We talked about the project, played some video games, candle lit dinner with red wine and roses. You know, the usual.

camerontroyer - two years ago

Richard

Just out of curiosity, in what way is that "usual"?

Emily

Mark does it all the time. It's very romantic. (cuddles up to MARK)

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD and MARK lock eyes. MARK looks away, and RICHARD shivers.

Mark

Oh, hey, Em. Some pals of mine and I are going to go to Euphoria tonight. Wanna come?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Isn't that a male strip club?

camerontroyer - a year ago

MARK glares and RICHARD, then turns back to EMILY.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Nah. Think I might stay in tonight, work on our project. But you have fun tonight.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Oh, I will (sees RICHARD watching him) Er, I mean, I might. You never know at these places.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MARK exits stage right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Bye sweetie. God, teenage love is so... so... heart pounding.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Wouldn't know.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

You've never had a girlfriend?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Not a one.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

That sounds so depressing.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

It is.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

And so... lonely...

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY and RICHARD lock eyes.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Like I'm the only one left in the world.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

How ever do you rid yourself of all that bent up... energy?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

I know some techniques.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD and EMILY get close together. Go in to kiss. DANNY enters stage right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Hey guys.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

You know, I don't see a scar anywhere!

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

I know. My doctor says it healed remarkably fast.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Fascinating.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

What're you guys talking about?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Oh, just this scar Emily's had for a year or so.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Healing remarkably.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Uh-huh. How did Emily get the scar?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

She uh-

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Well I ran into...

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Into... a DOOR!

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Yes! A door! (looks at DANNY) I... ran into a door.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Mm-hmm.

camerontroyer - a year ago

BELL rings.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Oh, look at the time. I gotta go to class. See you guys later. Maybe I'll see you later tonight Richard?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Yep. Just call me if you need my services. Need me! I meant me.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY exits stage left.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DANNY looks at RICHARD.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

What?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

I'm not saying anything.

camerontroyer - a year ago

BOTH exit stage left

camerontroyer - a year ago

ROBBIE and MAURICE fall out of two lockers.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Why the hell do people leave food in their lockers for three months? These things smell disgusting.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE is chewing on a snadwich.

robbie (CONT'D)

Maurice, you didn't have that at the beginning of the stake-out.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

I found it in the locker. It's baloney.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

How old is that?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

(takes a bite) I'm guessing... 10 weeks. 3 months tops.

camerontroyer - a year ago

ROBBIE gags.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Oh god that's nasty.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Want a taste?

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

No, I do not want a taste. What is wrong with you? Throw that away.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE shrugs and throws the sandwich on the floor to his left.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie (CONT'D)

Now then, where were we?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

In those lockers.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Right. Did you see that? Emily and Richard almost did the nasty.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Are you sure that was the nasty?

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Positive. I keep hearing mom and Richard having talks about how he has to stop doing the nasty in his room when we have Aunt May over for dinner.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Really?

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Yeah. He then came back by saying mom and dad need to stop doing the nasty when they think he's a sleep, but he's not.

Maurice

Yeah, you're confused. What that was was... (whispers in ROBBIE's ear)

KateVee - a year ago 2 versions.

robbie

Oh, god! How do you know that?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

I'm usually awake when Richard is too.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Can't sleep?

Maurice

Don't want to. (smiles)

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Wait, how do you do the nasty alone?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Well... (whispers)

camerontroyer - a year ago

ROBBIE looks down, then at his hand, then at MAURICE.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Never again. Anyways, I think we should help Emily and Richard get together.

Maurice (CONT'D)

I like her. She entertains me and my fantasies. (sighs)

robbie

So, we agree. We play matchmaker?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Indeed.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Extra 4

Hey, who brought their little broskiis to school?

robbie

Run!

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

You'll never catch me alive, copper!

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE and ROBBIE exit stage right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE.

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 1 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

CURTAIN RISES.

EMILY's house, living room. Similar to RICHARD's living room, but with a set of stairs behind the couch, and front door at stage left instead of stage right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY is on the couch, bent over the coffee table with a highlighter. There's a knock at the door.

EMILY

Come in.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD enters stage right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Hey.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Hey

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

I came over as soon as I could. Is something wrong with the project?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

No, no. I just... I need to talk to you about earlier.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Huh. (Sits on couch next to EMILY) I see.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

It's just that, I've been feeling lonely recently. Mark doesn't seem interested anymore. He's always hanging with his friends, going to Euphoria, skinny dipping in his pool, having sleepovers. And then here was someone who felt the same for completely different reasons, and I tried to take advantage of that. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

camerontroyer - a year ago

ACTION PAUSES.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD bolts up.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD flips the coffee table. He then starts jumping on the couch.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

THIS! CAN'T! BE! HAPPENING! TO! ME!

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD stops. He then puts back the coffee table.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Sorry. Sorry.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD sits back down.

camerontroyer - a year ago

ACTION RESUMES.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

It's okay. I feel like maybe I was taking advantage of you.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Good, we got that out of the way. But while you're here, can you help me with something in the project?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Sure.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD and EMILY get close together and their conversation eventually becomes background noise. MAURICE and ROBBIE poke their heads in stage left.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

So Maurice, you know the plan, right?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

Good. Get in position.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE scurries across the stage with a box and hides behind the couch. ROBBIE goes back offstage.

robbie (CONT'D)

Now where is that electric panel? Oh, there we go.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Lights go out.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

What was that?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

A power failure. You got any flashlights?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Yeah. I'll be back in a second.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY goes over to a small dresser, and opens a drawer.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY (CONT'D)

Weird.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

What?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

I had a whole bunch of flashlights in here earlier today. Where did they go?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

(whispering) You don't want to know the answer to that question.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Did you hear something?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Nope. (searches drawer) Oh, some candles.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Yay. Candles.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY garbs a handful, and sets them up on the coffee table. She lights them.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Right, where were we?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Well, we were going over the use of this metaphor for the loss of innocence idea.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Right. (picks up paper) "Can you feel me now? Oh yes Freddy, you're there". (looks at Emily) How?

EMILY

I just wanted to hear you say that aloud (smirks)

KateVee - a year ago 2 versions.

Richard

Oh, she's got some fire in her.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

I can surprise you with how much fire I've got.

camerontroyer - a year ago

A violin is heard playing in the background. Behind the couch, MAURICE slowly rises, shown to be playing the violin in question.

camerontroyer - a year ago

emily (CONT'D)

Well, this has become oddly romantic, hasn't it?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Yes, yes it has.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE, with an it's-about-to-get-frisky-face, goes back down behind the couch, still playing the violin. RICHARD and EMILY passionately kiss. There's a knock at the door.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Em? it's Marky-poo.

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

GODDAMIT! ABORT THE MISSION MAURICE! ABORT!

camerontroyer - a year ago

MAURICE runs up the stairs, and the lights go back on.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

One second Mark!

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY quickly gets up and lets MARK in. DANNY follows.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

You'll never guess who I ran into coming out of Euphoria.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Mark?

Danny

How'd you know?

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD facepalms.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

So, how's the project going?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Oh, it's a little touchy.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

It is a rather... tender subject.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Yeah, ours isn't going so well either. What about yours Danny?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Ours is going great. Stephanie thinks I'm an idiot.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

How is that great?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Stephanie only dates idiots.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Is it safe to come downstairs yet Robbie?

camerontroyer - a year ago

robbie

No, you idiot, can't you hear them talking?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Maurice

Sorry, I don't speak english.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

ROBBIIIIIIIIE!!

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE.

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 2 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

curtain rises

DEAN's office. There is a desk and two chairs in front of it. A motivational poster hangs on the back. DEAN is sitting in his chair, laptop open. Sex noises are coming from the laptop. DEAN is touching himself above the pants.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD comes in.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Sir?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Laptop

Shove it in there.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Shit. (closes laptop)

KateVee - a year ago 2 versions.

Laptop

Oh yeah!

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN throws the laptop out the window behind him.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Richard! How can I help you?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Well, I need some advice.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Isn't that what the guidance counsellor is for?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Yeah, but I don't trust him.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Why?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

He has a blog called ShitTheKidsAtTheSchoolIWorkAtSay.

DEAN

Great blog.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

I love it. It's our gossip column. But this a bit of a touchy subject.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

I understand. What's up?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Let's say I made out with someone who is in a relationship.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

You kissed Emily huh?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

What?

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Please. You've had a crush on her for at least 3 years. The guidance counselors blog is really juicy.

Richard

Anyways. What should I do? Do I say it was a mistake and move on. Or do I continue our little affair? DO I tell the boyfriend-

DEAN

Mark.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Right... Do I tell Mark? What do I do?

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN is quiet.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Well?

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

I have absolutely no fucking idea.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Huh. Well, this has been helpful.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Look, I'm sorry, but you interrupted my happy time. Now all I can think about is dirty Dixie out on the grass behind me.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD gets up.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Sorry for wasting your time.

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD leaves.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Okay, gotta tweet this.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN is tapping on phone.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN (CONT'D)

Well 140 characters isn't gonna cover it, asshole.

camerontroyer - a year ago

APRIL walks in.

camerontroyer - a year ago

April

Sir?

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

What?

camerontroyer - a year ago

April

I was wondering if I could talk to you about switching partners for my project.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

April, we've already talked about this. You cannot trade Tommy.

camerontroyer - a year ago

April

Can I refund him?

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

April...

camerontroyer - a year ago

April

I just don't want to work with that oaf. He's so closed-minded and brutish and... and... kinda handsome... and brutish... and... and...

DEAN

April? Are you having an aneurysm?

camerontroyer - a year ago

April

I gotta go.

camerontroyer - a year ago

APRIL dashes out of DEAN's office.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Finally.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY opens the door.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Sir-

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

OH COME ON! I'M NOT THE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR!

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

I... I just had a question.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Right, right... about whether or not to tell Mark about kissing Richard.

camerontroyer - a year ago

emily

No, actually, it was about the due date of the assignment.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Oh...

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

But while we're on the subject.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DEAN

Damn...

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 3 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

CURTAIN RISES

DANNY's house. Almost exact same as EMILY and RICHARDs houses, but with a door instead of stairs. DANNY is sitting on his chair nervously. There's a knock on the door behind him.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DANny

Coming!

camerontroyer - a year ago

DANNY gets up and skips around to the door, and opens it. STEPHANIE is standing there, obviously annoyed.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Stephanie is here.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Hello my queen.

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE enters the room.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Stephanie wants to get this done prontomediately. Stephanie is missing PLL.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Isn't that a show from the summer line-up?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

It's a rerun.

camerontroyer - a year ago

DANNY sits down on couch next to STEPHANIE.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie (CONT'D)

What did you want to ask Stephanie's help for?

Danny

It's not so much for your help.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Then Stephanie is leaving.

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE gets up.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Will you go out with me?

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE turns and looks at DANNY.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie (CONT'D)

What did you just ask Stephanie?

Danny

Will. you. Go. Out. With. Me.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Why?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

You, Stephanie, are the most beautiful creature on this wretched earth.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Stephanie is flattered. But Stephanie's answer is no.

Danny

Did I mention my mom works at Gucci with a 15% discount?

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE stops dead in her tracks.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Go on.

Danny

If you go out with me, I will let you use the discount once.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie

Stephanie's never able to get to Gucci when Gucci's on sale. Stephanie won't have to buy at full-price.

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE turns to look DANNY full on.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie (CONT'D)

Stephanie accepts.

STEPHANIE puts out her hand to shake DANNY's. Danny shakes.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Stephanie (CONT'D)

When will Stephanie be going out on this date?

Danny

Uhh, I don't know yet.

camerontroyer - a year ago

STEPHANIE facepalms as DANNY shrugs.

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 4 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

curtain rises

Small, smoky room. TOMMY, KEITH and MARK are sitting around a table, playing poker and smoking cigars.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOMMY coughs.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Keith, why do you always have to bring out the cigars when we play at your place?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Oh, I don't mind. (starts moving the cigar in and out of his mouth) I kinda like having things in my mouth.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOMMY and KEITH look at MARK, then at each other.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

That's what she said.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Ten-year old humor. Always the best.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

What's wrong with you recently? You've been acting strangely since that football game a few weeks ago.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Yeah, the one where we ran into the stereotypical drug dealer that never has a line.

camerontroyer - a year ago

keith

Yeah, you're right.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

You... you aren't doing drugs are you?

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

What? Don't be ridiculous. (inhales loudly) Besides, you know drugs would get me kicked off the team.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

What about steroids?

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOMMY looks at KEITH.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

I'm not doing drugs.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

I'm just saying...

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

I'M NOT! Doing DRUGS!

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

Okay, you're not doing drugs. Now can we play cards?

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOMMY looks at his cards. KEITH mouths to MARK "Steroids". Both nod.

KateVee - a year ago 3 versions.

Mark

Anyways, I think I might have a big party at my place over the weekend. You know, whole school thing. Kegs. Orgy upstairs. That sort of thing.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Oh? Who're you inviting?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Here's a list.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Mark, you're ratios are all whacked. The only girl going is Emily. What type of orgy would you be expecting to get with one girl?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Silence.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Oh, right. Yeah, that would've been... awkward...

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Let me just, throw in some girls. Let's see... Stephanie... Obnoxious Laugher... Extra who stares at Mark's ass... Head Cheerleader... Dated everyone... Angry Lesbian... Lightweight with Balance Problems... April...

Keith

Whoa, whoa... April?

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Yeah. She's kinda cool.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

No.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

What?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

I refuse. No. Not on my watch.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

What's gotten into you?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

Into me? What's gotten into you? Just last week you were making fun of her black lipstick. Now you wanna make out with it.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Are you calling April an it?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

No, the lipstick. The point is, you're changing. And I don't like it.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Well, April is coming, and that's that.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

Fine!

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy

Fine!

camerontroyer - a year ago

Silence.

camerontroyer - a year ago

TOmmy (CONT'D)

And I do not want to make out with her lipstick.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Keith

Whatever.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Silence.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

You guys are being a bunch of girls.

TOMMY and KEITH turn and look at MARK. Curtains close

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 5 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

Curtains rise

The school hallway, empty. Bell rings. DANNY and RICHARD enter stage left.

Danny

(chanting) I've got a date with Stephanie. I've got a date with Stephanie. Richard is the other woman, and I've got a date with Stephanie.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Danny, I swear, I'm going to kill you and hide your body in the woods if you don't shut the hell up.

KateVee - a year ago 2 versions.

Danny

Well you are.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

I am NOT the other woman. For that to be true, I would have to BE a woman.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Huh... I've been logic'd.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Must be Friday.

DANNY turns and looks at RICHARD, glares. EMILY enters stage right with MARK.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Hey boys.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

Oh, look it's -

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD takes DANNY and covers his mouth. He then whispers into DANNY's ear.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

(whispering) You say one word, and those Playboys in my basement are either being set on fire, or being donated to an orphanage. Nod if you understand.

DANNY nods.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

(whispering) Good boy!

camerontroyer - a year ago

RICHARD releases DANNY.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard (CONT'D)

Hey Mark. (pause) Emily.

EMILY

Richard.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

DANNY!

camerontroyer - a year ago

EVERYBODY turns and looks at DANNY.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny (CONT'D)

I was feeling left out.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Anyway... I'm having a party at my place this Saturday and was wondering if you guys were interested.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

What type of party?

camerontroyer - a year ago

MArk

Oh, just a stereotypical high school kegger. Sex, alcohol and betrayal, all in one climactic finale.

Danny

Huh. Count me in.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Will you be coming, Richard?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Oh, I don't know. I think I might have something.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Oh, but you simply must come. I can't not have you there.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Huh... I guess I'll see what I can do.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Mark

Excellent. Anyways, I gotta go. I'll see you guys later. Love ya, babe.

camerontroyer - a year ago

MARK kisses EMILY on the cheek, and walks off stage left.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Danny

I, um, I gotta go too. I gotta go... pick my nose...

camerontroyer - a year ago

DANNY walks off stage left, giving thumbs up to RICHARD behind EMILY's back.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

So... what do we do now?

camerontroyer - a year ago

Emily

I... I don't know.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

What we're doing is really bad.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Yes... yes it is... and I think we need to stop.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

I agree.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Emily

I'm breaking up with Mark this Saturday. At the party.

Richard

Wait, what?

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

He deserves better.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Em.. you are the best there is.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

Not if I'm a cheater.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY starts to cry.

camerontroyer - a year ago

EMILY

I'm a terrible person...

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

No, no. (Hugs Emily) It's okay.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Emily

I need to break-up with him. For his sake.

camerontroyer - a year ago

Richard

Okay... okay. It'll all be fine.

camerontroyer - a year ago

END SCENE

camerontroyer - a year ago
Act 2 Scene 6 Last edited by camerontroyer, a year ago. 0 comments. More scene info.

This scene is locked.

Curtains rise

Mark's House, party. Lots of extras, and every single character but RICHARD is milling about. ROBBIE and MAURICE are hidden on the stairs.

camerontroyer - a year ago