Hi, I'm Richard, and welcome, to Molly Ringwald College. I'll be your protagonist this evening. Be wary: this play may or may not contain swear words, random insanity and violence. So be sure to film it and put it on Youtube later. Also, if you have a phone in here, please turn it off. Otherwise, one of our actors will come, retrieve it, and start prank calling your friends. You've been warned.