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Quick pitch

Rewriting the scene where Mateo sits in his chair and tells Ariel that he's going home like E.T.

Project Type: Not Yet Specified.

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Recent changes

UweKlemm added a comment to In_america_scene_mateo_in_chair on 09/25/2009. more
I like it - you do get Ariel's sympathy and naivety quite well. detailled sluglines & instructions - the reader really can imagine what's going on. Thanks for the good read :-)
detowni added a comment to In_america_scene_mateo_in_chair on 09/21/2009. more
Quite nice screenplay. You managed that Ariel seems to react really emotional speaking with the E.T. doll. In my eyes the screenplay is very original and plausible due to the emotions you worked with. Christy's idea fits well to the scene, both sisters act nice.
Flo_Troll added a comment to In_america_scene_mateo_in_chair on 09/21/2009. more
Fairly good screenplay. I liked the first part when Ariel talks to the doll. You managed to show the different situation, Ariel is in. On the one hand she sees that Mateo is suffering and has to go to his home planet. On the other hand she likes Mateo very much and doesn't want him to go home. Well done !
chris_kd82 added an action in "Dies ist Deine erste Szene." on 09/21/2009. chris_kd82 made 12 other changes. more
Ariel hugs her E.T. doll and falls asleep; Christy turns around again and closes her eyes.
dave770 deleted an action in "Dies ist Deine erste Szene." on 09/21/2009. more
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