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DanielLaCosse edited dialogue in "Trident Layers Commercial" on 12/29/2010. DanielLaCosse made 23 other changes. more
VOICE (v.O.)
There is are downsides to growing up rich.
DanielLaCosse edited an action in "Trident Layers Commercial" on 12/29/2010. DanielLaCosse made 24 other changes. more
The bearded man is standing among a group of important looking men. He holds a dirt-encrusted case of TRIDENT LAYERS while flash photography dances over the scene.
ThomasBoguszewski added a comment to LayersCommericalTD on 12/29/2010. more
1. What makes the adult version of the kid's voice need to be gruff? Does it change the message if he is played by a non-gruff voice? I mean, the point is he's an adult.
2. I think the kid should be at the counter, so that we know he is actually trying to PAY with the trident layers (as opposed to just HAVING some)
3. How old should the kid be? I think he should be kinda young. Young enough to be embarrassed by being rich, old enough to know he's rich.
4. We should try to mimic a few of the lines from the existing trident layers commercials, have some dialogue.
So...

Int: crowded lunch room line. Well dressed boy gets up to the counter.
Boy (very nervously): Would you mind if I paid... in gum?
whole room turns to him and stares
ext. the cold dark north - years before.
Bearded man swings a pickaxe into the ground, as he looks at the place where he swung, joy creeps over his face. From the ground, Trdent Layers begin to pop (I have an idea of how to pull this off with a practical special effect). Man picks up a piece an looks at it.
Man: That's new trident layers, gum with layers of flavors!
(screams in jubilation to sky) freeze frame.
V/O ever since my daddy found that Trident Layers deposit, he was set for life.
cut back to cafeteria. close up on everybody staring. then, close up on boy feeling self-conscious and sad.
V/O it ain't easy being a rich man's son.
cue Trident co's logo thing "trident gum, layers and layers of falvor" bla bla bla, if required. It'll have an ironic chipperness
DanielLaCosse added an action in "Trident Layers Commercial" on 12/29/2010. DanielLaCosse made 17 other changes. more
The modestly dressed student hands over the lunchbox and quickly grabs the pack of LAYERS - he rips out a piece of gum and begins chewing.
ThomasBoguszewski joined the project! on 12/29/2010. more
 

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