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erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009. erinthegeek made 33 other changes.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
mr. smith
Hey guys? Do ya mind keeping it down? Me and the family are over in Electronics and we're trying to get some sleep before the big fishing trip tomorrow. There's a big shipment of coy fish coming in and we want to get a good spot near the tanks...you understand!
erinthegeek added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
dad
Now, this Wal-Mart wasn't one of them fancy Super Wal-Marts with the food and the stereos and the guns...oh, no...
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
mr. smith
Hey guys? Do ya mind keeping it down? Me and the family are over in Electronics and we're trying to get some sleep before the big fishing trip tomorrow. There's a big shipment of coy fish coming in we want to get a good spot near the tanks...you understand!
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
Mr. Smith leaves as Mom, Emily, and Billy, catch their breath.
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
Mom, Emily, and Billy scream as MR. SMITH appears, also dressed in camping gear and shining a flashlight at the family.
erinthegeek added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
mr. smith
Hey guys? Do ya mind keeping it down? Me and the family are over in Electronics and we're trying to get some sleep before the big fishing trip tomorrow. There's a big shipment of coy fish comin in tomorrow...you understand!
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
Mom, Emily, and Billy scream as Mr. Smith appears, also dressed in camping gear and shining a flashlight at the family.
erinthegeek inserted dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
MOM, EMILY, BILLY
AAAAHHHH!!!
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
Until one night when Johnny, the new stock boy...VANISHED!
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/31/2009 [view]
Mom, Emily, and Billy scream as Mr. Smith appears, also dressed in camping gear and holding a flashlight.
erinthegeek added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
Until one night when Johnny, the new stock boy...went missing!
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
The rustling continues.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
He worked deep in the stock room, tracking inventory late into the night...
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
Emily whimpers and there is a rustling noise in the background.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
He worked deep in the stock room, tracking inventory late into the night...until one night when Johnny, the new stock boy...went missing
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
Now, this man worked the night shift at this particular Wal-Mart and not many coustomers ever saw him...but they sure knew him.
erinthegeek added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
He worked deep in the stock room, tracking inventory late into the night...and then one night, Johnny, the new stock boy went missing
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
Emily whimpers.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
Now, this man worked the night shift at this particular Wal-Mart and not many people ever saw him...but they sure knew him.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad
A long, long time ago...there was an old man...who worked in a Wal-Mart, much like this one...
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad
A long, long time ago...there was an old man...in a Wal-Mart, much like this one...
erinthegeek added dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad (cont'd)
Now, this man
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
Mom, Emily, and Billy lean in closer.
erinthegeek edited dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad
A long, long time ago...there was a man, much like me...in a Wal-Mart, much like this one...
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
DAD, MOM, EMILY and BILLY are sitting at a campsite. They have a brand new tent set up. Dad is dressed head to toe in brand new camping gear, the rest of the family is in regular clothes. They are sitting around a decorative fake fire where a fan keeps the fabric flame going, "roasting" marshmallows. They are telling ghost stories.
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
DAD, MOM, EMILY and BILLY are sitting at a campsite. They have a brand new tent set up. Dad is dressed head to toe in brand new camping gear, the rest of the family is in regular clothes. They are sitting around a decorative fake fire where a fan keeps the fabric flame going, "roasting" marshmallows.
erinthegeek edited an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
DAD, MOM, EMILY and BILLY are sitting at a campsite. They have a brand new tent set up. Dad is dressed head to toe in brand new camping gear, the rest of the family is in regular clothes. They are sitting around a decorative fake fire where a fan keeps the fabric flame going.
erinthegeek edited a slugline in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
INT. int. walmart camping asile - Night
erinthegeek deleted an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
Billy unceremoniously plugs the "fire" into an outlet in the wall and sits back down and goes back to playing his Nintendo DS.
erinthegeek deleted dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
billy
Yeah, okay. Done.
erinthegeek deleted dialogue in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
dad
(sits down and starts warming himself by the "fire")
Beautiful!
erinthegeek deleted an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
MOM and EMILY enter. They are both carrying Wal-Mart shopping bags full of food and other supplies.
erinthegeek added an action in "This is your first scene." on 08/30/2009 [view]
MOM and EMILY enter. They are both carrying Wal-Mart shopping bags full of food and other supplies.
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