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Quick pitch

A sleep deprived teenager is watching TV in her living room, desperately trying to stay awake. The alarm that she has set on her phone blasts loudly, following which she goes downstairs to make coffee. She gulps down the coffee while watching the movie. This repeats several times. To emphasize the urgency, the teenager also splashes water in her face, runs up and down the stairs, pinches herself, etc, all the while being jolted awake by her phone’s alarm every 10 minutes. Eventually, the cell phone dies and her alarm cannot go off, causing the girl to fall asleep.

While she is asleep, she suffers from sleep paralysis – which she was trying to avoid. She cannot move her body, and suffers from auditory and visual hallucinations. These hallucinations include a ‘Music Box Boy’, (who stands in the corner twitching, while playing eerie music out of his horn shaped ears) as well as the dreaded ‘Hag’ (The creature from the famous painting The Nightmare), who sucks out people’s souls. The Hag slowly makes its way over the girl – and sits atop her chest – similar to The Nightmare. The Music Box Boy’s music gets more erratic, as the Hag scratches words into the girl’s arm. With great strain, the girl forces herself out of the paralysis, waking up in the process.

Being jolted awake, the girl sits up and looks around her living room. She notices that a lamp in her room has a similar outline to that of the Music Box Boy, and sighs of relief. She reaches for her coffee cup, and notices that there are still words carved in to her arm: “Once more”. Realizing what this means, the girl is terrified, and in the background, the lamp’s arms begin to move.

Project Type: Short Film (5 min)

This project's owner would only like your comments.

Recent changes

jordanbeckcrouse added an action in "3. Waking up" a year ago. jordanbeckcrouse made 5 other changes. more
Behind the GIRL, the MUSIC BOX BOY smiles.
jordanbeckcrouse added an action in "3. Waking up" a year ago. jordanbeckcrouse made 17 other changes. more
Muffled screams turn into real screams, as the GIRL's entire body jolts awake. The colour has returned to the room. The MUSIC BOX BOY is gone.
jordanbeckcrouse added an action in "Sleep Paralysis" a year ago. jordanbeckcrouse made 15 other changes. more
Stopping at the fireplace, we are treated to a full body reveal of the entity. Over sized, fancy dress clothes, on top of a small, humanoid body. The hands are hidden beneath the cuffs of the shirt. The head is encompassed by a large, black helmet, with the only visible skin being around a very red mouth. The eyes are black holes. Where the ears should be - black trumpets, sticking out the side of the head. The eerie music is being played from these trumpets - the gear noises coming from its joints. This is the MUSIC BOX BOY.
jakepelrine97 added a comment to Sleep Paralysis a year ago. more
I like how you make her timidity evident through the constant coffee-filling and sporadic movement thru the house; it makes the tone satirical yet chilling at the same time. Some things to consider: What is the alarm on her phone for? What's the importance of the box, and why is she distressed about it? Maybe give a little hint so we know where you're going with it; foreshadow. Make sure you pay attention to her every movement, as well. Act it out in your head--how would I do this, and how specifically would I be doing it?
Hope this helps!
jordanbeckcrouse added an action in "1. Staying Awake" a year ago. jordanbeckcrouse made 28 other changes. more
The box. The GIRL stares at it for an uncomfortable amount of time, before abruptly opening the lid. On the inside: Gears, of all shapes and sizes. Why? She tosses the new gear inside of it, and plummets onto the couch.

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