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This is your first scene. Last edited by StevenLutsky, on 10/26/2010. 0 comments. More scene info.

INT. Basement - Day

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

The "camera" begins rolling on a faux-terrorist message tape in dimly lit basement. A large gaudy tapestry is hung in the background. A MUSLIM man sits on the ground with a Nerf gun in hand.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Siraaj

O American people, you have seen what the members of Al-Qaeda could manufacture with little resources, a car trunk and $1.83. I know what you are thinking...amateur hour!

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

The terrorists behind the camera, one holding a cue card, give each other suspicious glances.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 3 versions.

Siraaj (CONT'D)

These insolent morons offend me with the stench of a hundred bare-faced women! But all this will change when Siraaj rules the roost. The days of lighting your...your...dingledangle and failing to kill one infidel are over I say!

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

The two terrorists in the background are rapidly pointing at the cue card whispering "stick to the script"

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

SiraaJ (looking at the t

Idiots! If you touch that record button, I swear I will throw a Torah at your head! My timecode is precious! Keep recording...

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

BEAT.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Siraaj

Excuse me Americans, now as I was saying, under my rule things will become like a David Fincher set. Rehearsals will be arranged and auditions for proper martyrs will be done. Yes, you heard it hear first Americans, auditions! Like an American Idol for Allah! I will be Simon Cowell and Sayidul back there will be Paula Abdul.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Bawdy laughs are heard all around.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Terrorist #2

Yo dog! You a woman!

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

Siraaj

Yes, good laughs are had every time I tell this joke, but what I am saying is not a joke! Now, as you and I both know, Americans, explosions are messy and uncreative. Your little brother can go outside with a match, a drum and some gasoline and create an explosion. Boring! Siraaj is an artist, a beautiful mind on par with Brakhage and Cassavetes. So my attacks will make you wimper...in artistry!

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

The two terrorists behind the camera let out a wide smile.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Siraaj (CONT'D)

For instance, and I am just freeballing off the top of my head, but think puppies and cream soda. A tidal wave of puppies and cream soda symbolizing the western pleasure-seeker's grasp on pop culture. But wait, there's more! You following me camera guy? A flashmob of Michael Jackson "Thriller" fans with anthrax tape to their chests. Sushi restaurants with actual Sake Bombs. Putting two keys on two ferries, each one wired to blow up the other if a passenger has the guts to turn the key.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 3 versions.

Sayidul (WHISPERING TO T

Wait, didn't they already do that in the Dark Knight?

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 4 versions.

SiraaJ (looking at the t

Shut up fools! This one will have more angelic carolers. How is my hair?

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 3 versions.

The Terrorists behind the camera look at him, his hair beneath a turban.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Sayidul

Good boss! Very George Clooney-esque.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Siraaj

I mean I use Pert Plus. It's very good. But alas! Americans, what I intend to do is bring class and sophistication back to the art of terroristry. Remember the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand? That was some high quality terrorist material, believe you me. Well plotted, focused and cerebral. It started a World War for Allah's sake! But it lacked something...what did it lack Sayidul?

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Sayidul

Pudding?

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010

Siraaj

Yes, Sayidul, pudding. Tapioca pudding. Prepare infidels, for Siraaj el Siratum Mustaqeem intends to put the rad back into radicals. You have forty-eight hours.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010 2 versions.

Sayidul (WHISPERING to T

I hope Wegmans has enough pudding.

StevenLutsky - on 10/26/2010
 
 
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