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PaulChristianson added a comment to Tranquility on 01/29/2015.
PaulChristianson added a comment to Tranquility on 01/29/2015
The sentence "piano player tickling the ivories" is an expression not a description. Maybe "man at a piano playing a song that sounds close to The Little Brown Jug" (any old song will do)
PaulChristianson added a comment to Tranquility on 01/29/2015
Very interesting dialog exchanges. Good action scenes and the visions help to add action. Great episode ending, made me want to jump to the next episode.
PaulChristianson added a comment to Tranquility on 01/29/2015
in this sentence "However, Nika FIRES her rifle," it is a descriptive statement, the "However" is not needed. Also wondered why the random full capitals in many sentences on this page:
HITTING BAKER SQUARE in the CHEST
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